officially 20 days until i move to manhattan.
i am scared. and i am excited.
this is unlike anything i've felt before.
the life i want to live is actually going to begin.
please keep in touch with me.
even if it's just an email. (ilyssabeth@mac.com)



i'm hot and cold and making cappuccinos
i'm looking at my captures
deciding i'm not half as good as you.
it ain't me babe. it ain't me babe.
that's for god damn sure.
right now i'm a bird in a cage.
yellow and lovely and singing.
fluttering in the sun, feeling completely free.
in a few weeks ill be a pigeon in god's good sky.
scared and hungry. in awe of all that beautiful blue.
borders and boundaries.
the garden state parkway.
bridges and better places.
home. home. home. home. home.
heaven on earth.
the center of the universe.
if you're the hudson
then i'm a tall building on hobokens edge.
i'd give anything watch you all night.
but even the clouds cover the moon sometimes.
to sleep with the window open
and actually hear the earth move
thats what its all about.
from empty coffee cups, pools, garage doors, and bugs,
to several stores high, stopbath, fix, and endless night.
is it morning or is it night?
is that an ambulance or the police?
crime or an accident?
i know how bad i want this.
i know how good i am at this.
your nest might be righteous and green and cool and free.
but mine's build of passion and reality.
love and family.
together in ties thicker than blood.
no matter where me and this island go.
23 stories to where i want to be.
this perfection is the best revenge.
cars make me sick.
airplanes can make me cry.
but these sparkling streets are my future.
and this is traveling on a whole nother plane.